and i'm living like there's no tomorrow.

Let me rephrase my previous post.

I should not have written that i hate my class. Cause its not exactly hate.

Its more like anger?

Yes, it is.

I'm angry with the class.
I'm angry with myself.
I'm angry with almost everyone else.

What a sad world I'm in.

BUT.

That anger is going to end soon.

I'm not going to wallow in this pitiful world, thinking that my life is going to end soon and all those shit.

I'm going to buck up.

For myself, my family and friends who are concerned for me.

Yes. Just by this statement, I;m feeling much better already.

Anyway, it seems that I'm rejecting people's offers these days.



Haha. Is this a sign that i'm becoming more personal from now on?


Probably. I feel the same way. These days, I'm just sick and tired of opening my weak heart to others. I'm going to protect this little essential heart from now on. No more am I going to be the nice Carine which you guys know.

Whats the point?

BUT, I'm not exactly going to be a nasty person.

I just want to erase the word 'nice' from my description.

No more am i going to be the nice classrep who always spare a thought for her class, thinking of ways to help them.

No more am i going to be the nice girl who waits for others to share their problems with her, till the day her hair grows white.

No more am i going to be the nice organizer who tries her best to suit everyone's timing, but yet people can still be un-bothered to give their reply, sitting on their asses waiting for the poor soul to extort a reply from them.

NO MORE.

Get this clear?

Know what this means?


I have to learn to think for myself more. Rather than for others. Cause it seems I'm always the one getting hurt.

MORE THAN ONCE.