and i'm living like there's no tomorrow.

MOVED.

catch me @ http://www.carinex88.wordpress.com/ instead.

see u there. state of emotions is in a stable mood now. i've thought a few of the troubling issues, and have come to a conclusion for some of them. and i'm praying to gohonzon that they will work out, in the best way possible, without any party getting hurt.

i used to think that i'm not important to my friends, that my live or death would not matter at all. but, a friend showed me that i actually play a large role in their lives. when i'm emotional, they would get upset too. thank you friend, for opening up to me, for giving me the opportunity to learn from my mistakes. and i hope you benefit from the talks we had. i guess i've pretty much painted a very low role of myself in my friendships, hence the lack of confidence.

now that i'm not-so-emo, my friends are. i'm trying to think of ways to cheer them up, but nothing much seems to come to my mind. the only thing i cn do is offer my support(= so guys, gambette! dont give up pls!

one of my closer friend seems to be in a very emotional state these days. i'm sad cause i cant help to relieve him of his 'burdens'. i sincerely wish and pray things would be much much better for him, that he dont deserve all this shit that he's in. dear friend, pls pls dont ever give up. i might not be able to offer you much comfort, but just know that i'm really here for u, as a friend, as a listener, as someone for u to vent ur anger on... just go ahead. u have the privillege. =) the things you have given me. the support you have provided, i cant say how much i really appreciate them in words. right now, i just want you to be happier. to 'come' out from this cycle of unhappiness. finished most of the work to be done for drug deve projec slides today at ziling house. her's neighbourhood pretty quiet, and her house has a very nice view of sentosa, mount faber and many other places. its nice and relaxing. i wish i had a view like that. but still, i love my current house and i'm nt planning to move away anytime in the near future.

i had the talk i wanted to with a friend this afternoon. as to whether it went well or how i wanted it to, i cant comment much. prolly cause it did not really result in what i thought would. yep, so i guess i'll just take things one at a time.

i've heard comments about being too overly sensitive and yes, i do acknowledge that fact. but, i still have something to say. would you rather have a sensitive carine or one who is very cold-blooded? i guess i should say a word of fairness for myself. the reason why i think that way was because i treasured the friendship, and so i treated every sentence, every word with respect. so when people thinks that they dont mean it that way and i misinterpret it, okie fine. so from the next time onwards, i shant take everyword into heart. so maybe its good i revert back to the old days where i dont give a damn of what's happening around me yeah. just me, myself and the world alone. you want that, and i'll give u that.

kim's been telling me that she has practically lost hope in friendships, after seeing the way how people treated her in aus, and going thru 'hell'. i dunno if i want to be like her. not bothering much about the stuff around me. not bothering to take the initiative to talk things out with people. somehow, i still feel a link, a bond with the people around me. there are many i treasure a lot. but who knows? maybe circumstance will change me..

its true its pointless to keep thinking about the same old issues that keep bothering me. but i cant help it. they'll just pop into my mind whenever i'm alone. i feel so helpless. i might as well just hide in my shell. sounds like a good idea. bury myself in the books. so i dont have the time to think about other issues...

its another emo entry ah..

note: thanks Dhiviya for your concern. this week was quite a bad week for me. busy rushing thru assignments, projs, preparing for sfg test, which i think i can at least obtain a 'B', so i was pratically over-stressed. in addition, there were other emotional problems that i had to battle with, friend's problems.. own problems.. there's just too many issues for me to handle. i just felt like giving up on everything. but, i know i cant afford to be so. i have to keep fighting on...

anyway, kim stayed with me on sun and mon night. talks were great, being with her was simply great. i guess it kinda of 'took' my mind off issues that i did not want to face. dinner with yi and mei on mon at dian xiao er.. the food not-so-bad. (: yeah, so when she went to stay with her mum an family on wed, i guess the issues came charging at me, non-stopping. and many a times, i get the urge to scream at people, and shut myself out. just be alone, since everyone has the ability to make me frustrated, even the close ones.

i cant simply handle conflicts well. what should i do? i cant say nor talk it out, yet keeping it inside is turning me crazy. i cant help feeling helpless and the only thing i'm able to do to release all these frustrations and stress is through crying.

But, anyway, i hell glad this week is over. weekends are here, as least i can breathe. and today's dinner/meet-up with sujith was simply wonderful. though he could only stay for a short period, it was certainly assuring to see him. he's kinda like medicine for me. =) i'm so damn glad he's here. and ben joined us (sha, anne, me) for dinner too. he's a sweet nice friend whom i really admire and respects a lot. =) so at least my weekdays ended pretty well.

took some pics. so check them out.=)

`anne.carine at orchard.














`wonder whats anne trying to do? LOL














- Gals-night out at VIVO
`carine.yi.kim



















`kim.carine.mei(:



















`Ta-da!girl-friends.














`candid!















`and its US again.(: we always say there are 2 sides to a story right? so yeah... bottom line is, dont put too much trust into others' words when we arent the main 'characters' in the story. and, listen and observe more.

anyway, i pondered upon an important question that kept lingering around in my mind. and its quite sad when i realized i actually do not 'know' a friend whom i have been holding dear to my heart. its real sad, but i guess i cant really do much about it.

well, but i had great fun today. it was the best for this week.

(= proteomics test was so tricky!!! i'm still hoping for at least a B+.

anyway, mood's getting better, which is a good news right? hope it gets even better tmr.

kim's flight might be delayed, due to some miscommunication and error in booking. mmm, guess i have to wait a few more days to see her. hopefully she'll be able to catch the 16th one.

currently listening to fish leong's latest album on imeem.com... so far so good. her voice is good(=

long list of assignments waiting for me to complete. geeh. guess the final sem is not going to be smooth after all. stressed! there's still a clincial trial quiz waiting for me, and genomics test coming up next tues. genomics! =(

shall stop my ranting now. got to ponder over my resume... its due tmr!

till then!

` what has happened have already happened.. its no point pondering over who's right or wrong.. wonder was it because i did not have a good night sleep; had been hearing comments that i'm looking very tired today.. guess so bah.. emotionally and physically..

i'm too tired to think much now..

what i want is quiet and peaceness to concentrate on my studies.. but it seems that i cant have it in school.

hiax.

live each day as it is bah..